Divorce
You just heard the phrase, “I want a divorce”. Maybe you saw it coming, maybe you are surprised but either way, here comes the flood of emotions.
Fear, sadness, worry, anxiety, excitement, relief, angry, depressed, happy and the list goes on. Then comes the questions. Is she serious? Do I want a divorce? What about the kids? Do I want to try to save our marriage? Should I get a lawyer? Does she already have a lawyer? What about the house, money, pets, plants, golf clubs, living room furniture, books, and my favorite chair ect?! This type of “falling down the rabbit hole” thinking will take you places no man wants to go.
What should you do if you are going through a divorce…seek therapy of course!
Besides getting a lawyer….get a therapist! This is about to be a very trying time in your life regardless of the final outcome and therapy can be your best friend. If you end up staying with your wife, you got to figure out all the shit that has been going wrong within your marriage and most importantly yourself. If you end up divorcing you have to figure out all the shit that went wrong in your marriage and most importantly yourself! Why, because you do not want to repeat the same mistakes again, its painful; for you and everyone involved?!
Therapy?
Listen, I am just going to be honest and assume ( therapist do not like to assume but….) you have some serious communication issues, it is one of the leading reasons for divorce! All marriages have issues at some point such as kids, money, trust, maturity changes, outside relational stressors, work stress, and another list that can go on and on. However, without communication techniques and tools these others issues just get bigger and bigger.
But therapy?
Okay lets say you stay; you are going to have to learn how to communicate, to problem-solve, obtain conflict resolution skills, be humble, be vulnerable, create healthy boundaries, increase self-esteem, learn self-care, to figure out exactly who you are, be independent, and to how to let expectations of others go.
Lets say you divorce; you are going to have to learn how to communicate, to problem-solve, obtain conflict resolution skills, be humble, be vulnerable, create healthy boundaries, increase self-esteem, learn self-care, to figure out exactly who you are, be independent, and to how to let expectations of others go.
and…
Deal with different financial situations, living alone, not living alone, not living with your kids everyday, living with your kids everyday, saying “I am divorced”, dealing with role changes, dealing with friends, family, co-workers, and all the other transitional factors that come after divorce. Therapy can help you through all of this and much more!
also….
You get to have an unbiased, supportive, and caring therapist on your side that is all yours!
MEET ALYSSA
Alyssa Warren is a licensed therapist and owner of Innovative Direction in Pensacola, FL. Alyssa specializes in helping men and women with pre, during, and post divorce issues. Ms. Warren provides services to people who live in the state of Florida and international clients.